Quest for the truth!

Watching Generations in the last few weeks has made me wonder if searching for the truth is the way to go for me.

My father was unfortunately also killed in the 80's, 1985 to be exact. I was a year old and no one in my family has actually told me the truth of the events that led to his death. All I got was that I wouldn't understand and that it was political. I've had no interest in politics because of that statement.

In the years past, I was told of what a good man my father was, of course I would have loved to see and experience his "goodness" myself but that has and never will happen. He's a fallen hero to every one else that knew him except me and my brothers as we were somewhat "robbed" of that. My grandmother often said that I'm so much like him.

So came the thoughts of wanting to know more, where are the people that killed him! What happened to them and more than anything else why!

And with that, I have decided to ask questions that I've avoided asking in the past! So yes, yes I want to know the truth and the quest to find that truth begins now!!!

I hope my family doesn't hold anything back.

When I was a kid...

I thought I was adopted because my complection was a few tones darker than that of my siblings!

I wrote 4 suicide notes - and obviously I never got around to doing the deed!

I thought I was going to be a tv personality!

I thought I was freakishly tall and everybody else thought I was lying about my age!

I used to collect frogs and pretend to be some bio-tech genius!

I tried running away from home and the furthest I got was my neighbours house!

I was always top of my class - I wondre what happened when I got to high school 'coz that really changed!

Let's just say Thank you to growth and sanity!!!

Oh and how can I forget that at grade 9 I thought I was pregnant 'coz some guy hugged and kissed me! I blame that on poor guidance though hahaha!

Love matters

Call me vain but I think I'm quite beautiful, friendly, caring and honest! I also think that I make a good girlfriend but this is NOT what men want clearly! Oh, and speaking my mind is soooo not acceptible! Apparently it's considered to be rude, arrogant and Lord knows what else.

It's often said that good guys finish last or never get the girl and I think that the same applies for good women. Yes?

So what does one do in cases like these? Huh?

Sadly, wealthy single women also seem to have less chances of finding real love... While all is good for them in other areas of their lives, I'd have to slightly contradict myself - women with money and power are rude and think they don't need anyone. We All need someone who will hug us, listen to us, make us happy and make us feel better when everything else seems to fall apart! That doesn't mean you're weak, you're just human.

We do not have to be in control all the time and with everything.

And with that I have to leave it there for today and attend to my bbm, tweets and everything else that keeps me occupied!

So Ambitious...

So basically, I've been turning "25" for the last 3 years!My mom finally decided to ask me what the deal was and why the heck am I counting backwards...

Truth is, I had a plan for how my life should turn out by the time I turn 25 and well, let's just say there were a few glitches that set me back in a major way. At this point it's either I accept the situation as it is or keep pretending that I'm 25 till I make it work out as I had planned. The latter wins obviously!

So here's to me faking it till I make it and I want is all.


This does make sense right?

Clearly some people have no idea how annoying and unappreciated their facebook statuses are hey.

Some guy posted that he is not christian and does not celebrate christmas. He went on to write how the rest of us are idiots for believing in Jesus Christ.

Really, at first I thought he was kidding till he started a mini war of words about all religions. Oy, I- as expected stayed out of it and opted for the 'block' tab. Some people should either learn what is appropriet to post about on social networks or they must just keep it to themselves and their like minded buddies.

So, Merry Christmas good people, have a blessed day. Be safe, have fun and spread love.

saving me

I've had to accept a few of my flaws not too long ago and I forgive myself.

I took time to really think about about that whole 'nobody's perfect' statement and fek, I have in the past tortured myself about a lot of things that I had felt were not good enough about / on me.

15years later, I feel like an idiot for second guessing myself because here I am right now feeling that it doesn't it doesn't really matter who says what, I am perfect.... for myself.

I can't let people that don't take time to know me make me feel like I aint all that. Fek that and fek them very much.

Boozed up!

Yup, you read right!

This is officially my first drunken post!

I don't have much to say except that when I told people that I am leaving Nelspruit, all the wanted to do is get me drunk! What nonsense is that huh?

I am at work now, I had to stay up coz had I slept, I wouldn't have woken up! I came back to the house at 4a.m.

Interesting thing though is that people (around this devil'ish town) really do like talking about me - I am like a topic of interest nje! I think they will the ones to miss me first - really!

highlight of my night - Trying to have a meaningful conversation with a chick high on crack! She's got multiple personalities - it was funny and strange I can tell you that much! She's has some dodgy behaviour going on! She kept yapping for a good 20minutes non stop - pshhh , and peepz thought I'm a motor-mouth!

Need to start on my work now... Later

Letting GO!

When something is said often enough than it probably is true >>> I say that because in between me doing a lot of thinking and weighing the pros and cons of my latest decision I had to understand the saying"everything happens for a reason". I just hope that I don't have to kick myself afterwards.

I have finally decided to move back home, and when I say home - I really mean home. Sleeping in my old room and old bed! I've never really given Durban a chance, all I know is that I've always loved living in Nelspruit but - this town has really become too small for me, even after taming down a bit to look "normal", my isht is just not working out here.

So basically, I am teaching myself HOW TO LET GO! Plus I strongly believe that if I do move away from this evil place, I will stop this nonsense of drunk calling my exs coz honestly there are just not enough men in Nelspruit! LoL

I cannot justify the last statement but go figure!

Oh dear, I am so sleepy - It's a Monday 12H05 to be exact and all I want to do is dose off! Great.

> I met a few interesting characters this past weekend and I will just leave it at that.... I was quite an interesting one with lots of drama and this time it wasn't about ME! Heeeeeee

Gotz to go now.

I are alive! Yes I are...

Wow, the last time I was on this space was about 11 months ago!

And..... you can close your mouth now, I aint dead yet! It would actually take a hell lot more than hot tempered bosses and shady boyfriend to get me to go 6feet under!

Firstly: I will tell you this one thing >>>; giving advice is easy, taking your own advice is something on another level all together! I say this because I, for the last 6 months have had this VERY bad habit of drunk-calling my ex - well one of them actually, at odd hours of the morning! Why I do this is totally beyond me as I am the first to stop a friend from drunk dialling. This was so serious that last weekend, I sat on the steps outside of Carisma (A cocktail lounge place) crying coz he wouldn't answer my calls. It must have been the most confused moment for the people that were around me at that time (approximately 3:45am - I don't understand why I deprive myself of sleep and stay up till this time hey. It happens almost every Friday hahahahaha - Shit I am a nut case!)

I must admit though that I was intoxicated (ladies don't get drunk). From a whole bottle of Merlot, to Gin & Tonic then Mojitos and Red Square Energisers -- I think I might have threw back a few tequila shots as well... I am not sure though! And no before you start judging me I am not an alcoholic. I just choose to get smashed on Friday nights. I really don't have anything else to do on those days, being single doesn't help either.

I'd rather be single then put up with dodgy acting male characters - That's just another story all together.

I should have came back to blogging a long time ago!

Alright, I need to go get lunch now. I'll be back *not in that Robocop voice though*

Howdi...........

Am I the only person that feels just normal now that the world cup is finally here.

Personally I blame it on winter, it gets so cold that the thought of going to the Fan Park is just a naah ahh! I do not own anything warm...... I can walk into a shop with the intention of buying a jacket or jersey and will leave with a sleeveless top instead. Even back then I just used to wear Tumelo's jackets all coz I couldn't find a jacket that speaks to me!!!!

So because it'd be too cold for me to out, I chill indoors and watching soccer alone doesn't make much sense to me. I must admit though, many people are goin insane - almost every facebook status update is on soccer, flags on cars, the works and here I am with not even a Bafana shirt. But that does not in any way mean that I do not support our national team!

I was hoping for Ras Dumisani to redeem himself by singing the natonal anthem again - correctly this time though.......... oh well we can't always get what we want vele. lol.